So much of life is about change and trying to live well with the changes.
We had the good fortune to hear the Dalai Lama speak yesterday at Davies Symphony Hall.
Turns out he really did once walk up to a shop selling ice cream sundaes and say, “Make me one with everything.” The clerk hands him one and says, “Four bucks.” The Dalai Lama gives him a $10 bill, and waits to receive his change. Nothing. The Dalai Lama finally asks, “Where’s my change?”
The vendor replies, “Change only comes from within.”
Not really.
Actually the Dalai Lama doesn’t get the joke.
The translator helping him translates make me one with everything to requested an ice cream dish that contains every ingredient that the ice cream shop had available.
The Dalai Lama laughs anyway. No matter what happens, he laughs.
Change is fun, enlivening, and keeps life interesting.
Sometimes that’s true.
Change is often scary. It’s upsetting. It makes us anxious.
Things are fine the way they are. Or they are at least okay.
We’re used to how things are and we’re comfortable with that.
But life doesn’t hold still. Things are always changing.
We are always having to let go and live as fully as we are able.
We know people here have let go of homes, parents, children, siblings, spouses, careers. We all let go of dreams for ourselves or for our loved ones. Relationships change. Our health changes.
A dear member has learned that he carries the gene that makes him susceptible to the cancer that took his mother’s life. He is aware of his fears, the possibility of not seeing his daughter grow up, his partner being a widow, his life cut short. And he also says if he didn’t have this genetic make-up, he wouldn’t be who he is. He is grateful he was born and is alive. Grief and gratitude are so closely woven.
Another member sends updates on his surgeries and treatments, on the tests and scans and the uncertainties. He is the one that reminds all his readers that he is not alone, that all of us in our individual ways are in much the same human dilemma. He ends his messages, “May all of us find healing.”
All of us let go of so much and even then we can find healing.
All of us will lose what we love and we will have loved.
Another member shared in the vespers Thursday night about losing her husband of 61 and a half years not to death, but to depression. She misses him. She has had to let go of thinking she could take care of him completely on her own. There have been no easy fixes. She and he have opened to the care and the companionship of others.
These members tell their stories, name the hard losses of life. And we learn from one another.
Life demands that we adjust to changes. It isn’t easy. It takes leaps of faith.
The world’s religions and spiritual practices encourage people not to turn away from fears. Pay attention to them. Notice them. Face them. Name them. Let fears arise and imagine letting them go.
In Buddhist practice as you notice the fears, you realize there is some part of you that is separate from the fears, the part who is observing, watching them come and go.
That observer has some distance from fear. The observer may be your core, the essence of who you are. The observer may be called the soul or spirit, the part of us that is less subject to change.
When we meet life’s inevitable changes and losses, the Dalai Lama says, “we can react in two ways–either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
The two of us are in a time of change. We are imagining letting go of being professional ministers when we retire in June. We will be saying goodbye to all of you, people with whom we have shared so much and who we love. We will be saying goodbye to the home that for each of us is the home we have lived in the longest in our lives. We will move to a much smaller space so I will say goodbye to some furniture that has been in my life always. We have files and files of paper to go through and clear out. Books to let go. It’s a lot of change.
And you all will be saying goodbye to ministers who have been with your congregation for 18 years. The length of time itself makes this a big change.
This congregation has been around since 1891. It has always touched lives, given people meaning and purpose. It has always created loving community, made a difference in surrounding communities and in the world.
You can ground yourself in that truth. Though things are always changing, this church has been a continuing presence for 123 years.
During the last 18 years while we two have been serving here, this church has welcomed intern ministers, among them, Amy Freedman, Sean Parker Dennison, Sarah Moldenhauer-Salazar, Alicia Forde, Lynn Gardner, Marcus Liefert. Such good ministers.
We have always been impressed with how you all welcome, come to appreciate and love intern ministers, say goodbye, and then welcome the next intern minister. You don’t seem to compare them, just open to the gifts of the new intern. Such a good congregation.
For six years this congregation experienced the great energy, amazing storytelling and loving ministry of Rev. Chris Holton Jablonski. It was hard to say goodbye to Chris. Some of us didn’t know how we’d make it without him. Then in the interim after Chris moved away, family ministry had the excellent leadership of Laura Bogle, Marcus Liefert, Amy Moses-Lagos, and Sheri Pruddhome. And now here’s Merrin Clough offering depth and steadfast religious leadership. Each week our respect and love for her grows.
As a congregation you know a lot about weathering change.
You know many ministers. Last year you ordained to Unitarian Universalist ministry two of your own beloved ministers – Aija Simpson and Sue Magidson.
You have six affiliated community ministers whose strengths you know. You have chaplains. You have other UU ministers who are members. You’ve experienced Jay Atkinson’s sermons and passion for UU heritage with his stories of heroes and heretics. You’ve experienced Craig Scott’s leadership with social justice. Before Carolyn Colbert retired and joined this church, she served as an interim minister.
You can breathe deeply, relax, and trust. You have every reason to put your faith in the process that will bring your next interim and settled ministers.
Most of all you have one another. You have each other to share your own stories of change and growth. You can reassure one another.
You increase the odds on your bright future by caring for one another, supporting your leaders, staying calm, and naming in what you put your faith and confidence.
What’s possible together?
Helping each other open and be less afraid of change. The ways we learn together about change will help us with all the changes that will come to our lives.
Since 1891 this church has made a difference in individual lives and in the larger community. The founders took a leap of faith and trusted you would come and give of yourselves to this place.
Eighteen years ago the President of the Board of Trustees told us there was nothing this church couldn’t do if you set your minds and hearts on it. That is still true today.
You will want to support your future by sustaining the good programs of this church. And you’ll want to “gear up for the greater good” as UUCB joins in sustained interfaith efforts for justice. You will want to welcome an interim minister who will transition and travel with you, help you stretch and grow and be the very best you can be. And you will want to support an interim minister with an excellent staff who is compensated fairly.
Next Sunday we’ll celebrate our community with humor and music. All members and friends will be invited to participate in a ritual of sharing on behalf of the greater good. You will come forward with your pledges for the next fiscal year.
Some people complain churches are always asking for money. Money, generosity, supports the church. Money, generosity makes dreams come true.
During this time of transition, it’s time for your robust generosity. Some members have seen what’s needed and already stepped up to offer their generous support. Forty-two households have made pledges for $111,838. Those gifts are 19% higher than the same pledgers last year. Four of these household pledges are from members who are tithing, giving 10% of their income to UUCB. These forty-two households are giving $21,804 more than they gave last year. May their gifts reassure and inspire you!
Your generosity is a testament to your confidence in this community, your trust in its unfolding future, and in the strength of your church. Your generous pledge reassures everyone that all will be well. Let next Sunday be a joyful day.
Eventually we all let go of everything. UU minister Gordon McKeeman was a member of this church while he was President of Starr King School. Gordon died in December. He wrote, “We cannot save our lives. We can, however, spend them for some things that will outlast them.’”
Life is full of change and we can choose how we respond. We can learn to be open, trusting, making meaning. Choose to be calm. Care for one another. Give to increase the odds on goodness and love.
Smile. Offer this mantra, this prayer, this affirmation, “Make me one with everything!”