Promise and Possibilities…
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, in her beautiful little book Gift from the Sea, gives the reminder that “each cycle of the tide is valid; each cycle of the wave is valid; each cycle of a relationship is valid.”
There is a time to plant and a time to harvest.
There is a time to build up a career, a life, and a time to simplify and a time to retire.
Most of you received our letter letting you know of our plans to retire this June.
We feel so grateful for our lives with you. We have served as your ministers for 18 years. We have gone through so much together, joys and sorrows, life transitions. It has been our privilege to lift up the essence of lives in memorial services, our joy to celebrate weddings and baby blessings.
What a blessing to be with you in laughter and tears, to hear you speak what you know and listen to one another, for young and old to take action together for the common good. What a privilege for us to sit at bedsides and be with family members as they say goodbyes to loved ones.
So many times, we’ve experienced you speak the words that need to be spoken, do what needs to be done and be with one another in ways that touch our hearts and bring tears to our eyes. What a gift.
Of course, there have been more meetings and more emails than we could ever count, plenty of challenges where we’ve had to stretch and grow, rough times as well as loving ones.
And for all this and more, we are grateful.
We’re grateful for all the years singing and worshipping together. We’ve heard your personal stories and shared moments of deep understanding. We’ve worked hard together, grown together, and had fun. A lot has happened in 18 years.
There is much to celebrate. Much has been accomplished together. Of course, we have not done all we hoped we would do. We’ve not done all you wished we’d do. We have made mistakes.
We have given our all, our minds, our hearts, our strength, our time, our money, our sweat, our tears, our lives to this work. We have worked hard and tried to offer our best. It has been our privilege and blessing to serve you.
Some of you are newly here and just getting to know us. Some of you just walked in for the first time on a recent Sunday, or even today! We are glad you are here, and we want to assure you this congregation is strong. This community can meet changes with grace and renewed energy. All will be well.
No matter how long you have been here, we want right now to make meaningful times together. In life, we learn sometimes it’s not the length, but the quality of time that matters. As you know, you can have a meaningful or sweet connection with someone you talk with in a line at the store or next to you on the bus. So, let’s make good use of these months until our retirement.
This is a time for us all to reflect back on endings we’ve experienced in life…maybe a graduation or an end to a relationship, a move or job change or a death of loved one….
You may have been heart-broken. Maybe you felt betrayed or abandoned. Maybe you felt ready and excited about the new possibilities opening up before you. Sometimes you may have felt numb or sometimes felt all those feelings at once.
Like those other endings in life, the ending of our ministry together will probably be met with a wide variety of feelings.
Maybe you have seen this coming. You know we both are over 65, enrolled in Medicare, and Bill has begun receiving Social Security. You may not be surprised. You may be sad to think of our time together ending. You may think the time is not yet right for a new chapter. Or you may feel the timing is right and you may be excited about the possibilities for what’s next, both for you, the congregation, and for the two of us. Or you may not feel much of anything at this moment.
Past endings may get stirred for you, old loses, unresolved feelings.
What we learn and experience together about endings and beginnings can help all of us in all the parts of our lives, in the big life transitions like deaths, moves, job changes, children growing up, leaving home.
What we learn together can help us also in smaller endings, everyday transitions. Even how we end and begin a day is important. How we begin and end conversations matters. What we learn here helps us in our daily living and throughout our lives.
When I was leaving college to join the Peace Corps, I ducked saying goodbye to my close friends. As the day for my departure grew closer, I still said to friends, “I’ll see you again before I go.” Saying good bye felt so hard. I sort of slipped out the back door.
When I graduated from theological school and was going to move to serve the congregation in Salt Lake City, friends helped me ritualize my goodbye. We sat in a circle and each took a turn to speak. We named times we had shared, what we would miss, and our hopes for the future. A dear friend suggested we dig up a plant from my yard to replant in my next one. We shed some tears, hugged and said sweet goodbyes.
Sometimes we are letting go of things we are ready to let go of. Then too it is important to take notice, name, even ritualize the letting go. This clears us and helps us move into whatever will newly enter our lives.
Whatever you are feeling or not feeling, this is an opportunity to make a good ending. It’s a chance to grieve, to name, to clear the air, to forgive, to appreciate, celebrate, imagine, close a chapter, and make ready for a new beginning.
This is a time for doing the good work of ending.
And it is a time for you to continue on with renewed commitment and energy. During times of change, it is important to work together, to be a good team. Offer each other support. Take time for rest and play. Do whatever practices help you keep your balance – praying, meditating, walking, journal writing, singing. Practice regularly, religiously!
Support your leaders. Change, welcome or not, is always challenging. A non-anxious presence is needed. You all know a lot about responding to opportunities and challenges in creative ways.
Remember you are not alone. Keith Kron and the Transitions Office at the UUA will be working with your lay leaders. Keith says our announcing now is good timing. You will have plenty of time to get plans in place. District Executive Josh Searle-White will be working with you. Josh will lead the services on February 16 and he’ll meet with you to answer your questions, hear your concerns and hopes.
Judy Welles serves on the Board of the UU Retired Ministers and Partners Association. She counsels congregational leaders during times of ministerial transition. She says, “Stay calm and lead with your heart. You will be figuring out next steps. You’ll want to be smart about that. And you can’t go wrong loving each other and being kind. Lead with your heart.”
If we move through our feelings, care for one another, and stay connected through these next months, the journey will lead us all to feel appreciation for what has been and anticipation for what is ahead.
Meanwhile church life will continue as usual. You’ll come on Sundays for services and Thursday nights for supper. You’ll meet new people and make and deepen friendships. Some of us will cry at church. It’s a safe place to cry.
Sometimes we may get angry at each other. That’s human, and hopefully we’ll make up in healthy ways. New babies and new members will be welcomed. New leaders will be elected. You will create loving community. You will grow spiritually and live with integrity and joy and in service to the common good.
Eventually all of us will have to let go of everything. Learning about letting go is essential life work. Learning to say “Hello” and Good-bye” are major learning tasks all humans need to accomplish.
In this world, we are always needing to say “Goodbye” and “Hello.”
We humans want so much and we meet up with limitations, in others and in ourselves. You don’t do all you hope to do. You don’t do all others wish you would do. You make mistakes.
To be human is to know possibilities and promises. So often it is really true: A door closes, another opens. You cry your heart out for your losses and miraculously open yourself to more life.
To be human is to discover that in the midst of any situation, love is possible. Even in hard situations, love is possible.
Good endings make good beginnings.
The two of us have never retired before. We’ve never before said good-bye to professional ministry. Some of you have never before said good-bye to ministers. All of us will be learning together. This is a journey you and we can share over the next months.
Come, let us travel this journey together.
Time for All Ages ~
Hello, Good Morning! So good to see you!
It’s a blessing you are here! We’re grateful to your families for bringing you here!
Most of your parents have received our letter letting you know our plans to retire this June.
We’ve been so glad to be your ministers.
Some of you we blessed when you were babies.
We have known some of you all your lives or many years of your lives.
What a joy it is to see you grow into the beautiful young people you are.
Some of you we are just enjoying getting to know.
We are grateful to be your ministers and to work with Merrin.
We are glad to share church community with you.
We love it when the Youth and Children’s Choir sings.
We love having your classes take turns leading everyone in the call to worship.
We like to watch you listen to stories and see you get to know Merrin.
We love church life where people share meals and sing together, learn and play together, share our joys and sorrows.
We’re glad to be a community of all ages and for all ages to sign Super Cards of caring.
I like when all ages show up to events like the Martin Luther King Day Parade or the Greater Richmond Interfaith Harmony Walk.
It’s been fun to create together the Mosaics: The Tree of Life, the Dove of Peace, and the River of Life
I love to bring the rain with you. (Rain would be so good right now.)
I love the Easter egg hunts, the Christmas pageant, and the Christmas Eve candle lighting.
I love the regular Sundays when we greet each other and when we all sing as you go to
meet your teachers.
What we want is for you to know how beautiful you are. What a difference you make in your families, in your schools, your neighborhood,
your church.
We’re grateful for this church where people encourage each other to be our best selves.
I love it when the Youth and Children’s Choir sings, “It’s a blessing you were born and it matters what you do.” It is a blessing you were born and it does matter what you do.
How people say Hello and how we say Goodbye are important.
We want to learn to do both well.
Life has many hellos and goodbyes – each day when you say Good Morning and Good Night.
You say hello and goodbye to other kids at school.
You say hello and goodbye when you go to visit grandparents or other relatives.
When the school and church year begin and when they end, there are hellos and goodbyes.
We will retire as your ministers in June.
At the beginning of June we’ll have a picnic and field day with games.
That is when we will celebrate and say good bye.
This is January 26. Here it is on the calendar.
Then comes February, March, April, May (flipping through the pages of the calendar) and the beginning of June.
We are glad there are many days ahead together to enjoy!
As you go now to meet your teachers, (let the rest of you stay seated) and let us all sing, “Safe Passage.”
Today’s reading (adapted) comes from an essay by church consultant Roy Oswald.
Saying “Hello” and saying “Good-bye” are the two major learning tasks all humans need to accomplish.
I would venture to say that most people struggling with emotional problems do because they fouled up at either saying “Hello” or saying “Goodbye.”
Some children come into this world and have no one in their family really say “Hello” to them. Can you imagine what it’s like trying to learn to say “Hello” to others in the world, when no one ever said “Hello” to you when you were born?”
Some September go to a grade school and watch first graders try to say “Hello” to each other that first day of school. Some do O.K., but others aren’t sure how. Some child decides to say “Hello” by taking another child’s toy away from him.
Other people never learn to say “Good-bye.”
Some of us have never said “Good-bye” to Mommy or Daddy!” Hence, even though she or he has long since passed on, she or he still continues to dominate our lives.
Some have been jilted in love and yet never say “Good-bye to that relationship. As a result we carry that failure into subsequent relationships.
Most of us could use some continued work on saying “Good-bye” and “Hello.”
Transitions can be viewed as setting out on an adventure where we can make discoveries about ourselves, learn and grow.
